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J.R. Buchanan


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March 31, 2015

Just Breathe, a guest blog entry from my wife, Karla

Chaos---For someone like me with PTSD chaos leads to disaster. I have had a few things in my life that have contributed to my PTSD, the most recent being a tornado that hit our home and did major damage in 2013. It left me feeling very vulnerable, scared and unsure of myself. This last two weeks there have been a lot of chaos in my life. More than you can imagine. So those feelings of being vulnerable, scared and unsure of myself have returned. I even commented to my husband the other day that sometimes life seems like it is "pre-tornado" and "post-tornado." Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a funny thing. Because most people only think of war veterans or rape survivors who have flashbacks, other traumatic events are overlooked. Trauma is trauma! And PTSD for me is about not only having flashbacks but also the feelings and emotions that are left after the trauma. Memories can leave feelings. I can think back to the time and sense and feel all the things that happened that day. It would be so much simpler if I could just forget what happened that day or any of those days that my PTSD trauma events occurred. I hate feeling vulnerable. No one likes feeling vulnerable but I really don't like feeling vulnerable at all. But sometimes life leaves you vulnerable. So I just have had to learn to be around people who help me to stay strong and safe when life makes me feel vulnerable. But sometimes life is just chaotic. And when chaos comes I have to learn to just breathe!

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